When You Are Done With Her

When you’re done with her, you will say she’s changed, she’s acting strange, she’s a mess, crazy woman, pleading, different, yeah.. she needs help. You will say you don’t like drama, but she already knows that because you used to tell her about the other crazy women in your inbox, before she knew she would be one too. You will say… something different every day, to buy some time, come up with another line, all to avoid the truth and the way the edges cut in and touch you just as deep as the silence rips her apart. You will say everything, you will say anything to make the walking away easy on you and you will act like it never even phased you, as though you never gave a shit anyway. And she believes your cold like she once believed in your warmth. And all you said to her is the same you once said to the others, but she wasn’t like the others, until you discarded her and made her question everything she ever knew, her self worth and even you. Then she became just like the others. Just another.. just another crazy woman, causing drama you didn’t ask for. Another story you tell now about a poor, pleading woman you never loved, bothering you… until she finally went away. What a relief. What a relief to be done with her, burden lifted, and no more nightmares of that crazy woman who was acting strange, the one who changed. When you’re done with her, you will say… thank goodness she’s gone, thank goodness I am above someone like her, with her delusional mind, her drama, her pain, her feelings, her heart. Thank goodness you are not at all responsible for that mess of a woman, who broke by her own hands, thank goodness you never loved her, so you don’t ever have to feel how she felt. Thank goodness you don’t have to feel anything at all and thank goodness it wasn’t you who changed, but only that stupid, crazy woman who started acting strange one day for no reason at all. Thank goodness you don’t have to carry the weight of accountability; it’s fucking heavy.

-Stephanie Bennett-Henry