April Favorites

Photo: Margarita Petrianova

Hi all!
April just wrapped up and there’s a lot to share. Let’s get to it!


My cats are my fur babies and I just want to spoil them. I have two favorite must haves if you’re a cat owner.

So this cat bed is a Whisker & Co. product. I’ve gotten three of their cat beds in the last two months. One has pineapples all over it, one has doodled cats, and one is in the shape of a milk carton. I found them at both HomeGoods and Marshalls, at a discounted price. TJMaxx sells them too! I’ll link the website here.

My next must have cat product is this cat cage. Now, I never was a fan of cages. But when I moved to Washington I knew I needed something to help my cats adjust to their new surroundings. The first week I would close them in at night, hoping they would become comfortable relaxing in it. And, they did! Especially Gandalf, pictured to the right.

I have two of them, one for each cat. I’m still adding more blankets and bedding to make them cozy. My goal is to one day DIY the top and sides with scratch-post material.
Now, Gandalf is a 15# cat, which is pretty heavy considering the average healthy weight is 10# (this varies depending on cat breed of course, but for mixed breed house cats that’s usually the goal). My point is, the condo is pretty darn sturdy. He can jump between the shelves with no issue and nothing has snapped from his lard-ass (I love his chubby butt).
Another great feature is the bottom tray slides out. I have one litter box in each condo. And my cats love to make messes, which can be a pain to clean up. Not anymore. I remove the box, slide the tray out, and wipe everything down. It really is easier than having to vacuum/shake out those rubber mats you can get.
You can find the cat cages on Amazon.

Lastly on my cat shenanigans, are just some photos taken this month.

Luna (left) & Gandalf (right)


I don’t know how I would get through the day if I didn’t have music. This April I discovered Billie Eilish. I had heard her music previously, but I hadn’t paid much attention. She popped up a few times on my custom Pandora station, and ever since I’ve been playing her playlists on Youtube.
I’d highly recommend checking her music out, if you haven’t already. She is a highly talented, young artist.
I’ll share one of my favorites of hers below:

Something I learned

This past month I’ve kind of been on a roller-coaster of emotions, more so than usual. Listening to my mother talk about her own struggles and dealing with my own, I have come to realize fear is very real.
My counselor told me we need to be able to distinguish between fears. Fears that can be rationalized and fears that seem irrational, yet hold us back. This task isn’t really easy at all, but I know it’s important to try. Try and not let fear rule my life.
I’ve always had the fear of being a failure, in any situation. I have the fear that my weaknesses will be used against me again. I have the fear to open up. I have the fear to love.
But I don’t want those fears to hold me back anymore. I want to try a new thing and just do it.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”-Eleanor Roosevelt

Please check out The Bipolar Writer Collaborative Mental Health Blog on their post: Courage to face down the ogre. It’s a great piece expressing the importance of facing ones fears.

Facebook Page

The one social media presence I’ve stuck with through the years, is Facebook. I don’t usually post too many personal things on it, not anymore really. But, I do share a lot of posts I find inspirational, similar to my own feelings, and delicious looking (Tasty videos are the bomb!).
3am Thoughts is one of the pages I love. When I’m wriggling in bed, sleep avoiding me, I scan through their posts. They remind me of my late night Tumblr scrolling.
If you use Facebook often, and want refreshing truths, check them out here.


After reading The WellBeing Blogger’s post on benefits of being organized, I’ve been on a spree. Check out her article here.

I got this nifty organizing cart at Michaels on sale. So, I’m not using it for crafts (although I will in the future), but it’s been super handy storing shoes and accessories. Organizing my room so I feel more put together is perfect.

Planners are Godsend. My life would be pure chaos without my planner. Okay, so, it actually has been pure chaos, since I only just got my Recollections planner. But, I’m on the right track of getting my shit together…I swear!
I also got my planner from Michaels. Maybe Michaels should be on my April Favorites :p

Welp, that’s all my April Favorites. I’ll be trying this kind of post out end of May too. Hope you enjoy and check out the links!

*Always thoroughly research products to make sure they’re the best fit for you*

Poem On My Panic

As I wiped off my makeup, red skin flaring underneath, I began to cry. Tears swelled in my eyes, smearing mascara down my cheeks. My mouth fell open, a silent sob begging to break free. I wiped. And wiped. And wiped.
I felt like a lie.

My clothes pooled at my feet. I glanced down, staring at the leftover red nail polish on my toes. I touched my stomach. No. I pushed on it. I clawed at the fat, the skin.
When I looked up, my eyes seemed hollow.

I let the water soak my skin, my hair. It was scalding hot.
I went through the motions of washing my hair. Rubbing my arms and legs clean.
All the while I cried.

I lifted my face into the stream of water, gasping as some entered my lungs. My mouth seemed to rip open. I was screaming. Screaming with no sound.
Pressure built behind my eyes. My eardrums felt like they were going to burst.
Fingers dug into my skull, begging to make it stop.

I crumpled into the tub. I curled in a ball, my face mere centimeters from smashing into the porcelain. A strange noise sounded in the air.
It was me.

One hand covered my mouth. The other covered my head as it pressed into the bath.
I was tempted to bite down. I almost did. I wretched my hand away from my teeth, curling it around the back of my neck.

I screamed again. The pulsing pain in my head grew. I pushed myself even further against the tub.

If I smash my head enough, maybe I can make it all go away.
Maybe I can forget.


I want to forget.
I want to forget the pain of losing someone who was part of my core. I want to forget the anger towards my mother. I want to forget how helpless and pathetic I feel.

I pushed myself to stand, my hands slipping on the wet walls. I dried myself off, sniffling into the towels. I clothed myself, the large t-shirt covering my unwanted body.

I stumbled to my room, eyeing the comforts of my bed.
My eyes weren’t focused. Certain objects were blurry.
But I knew what was there.

I knew the bed I slept alone in was just behind my knees. I knew the clothes I tossed haphazardly into the basket were just band-aids. I knew the walls, the floor, the air, were all part of the cage I felt trapped in.

My hands won’t stop trembling.