What life has been like

I told you I would update on what’s been going on with me! Just took me a little longer than I expected… :p
If you didn’t catch it, I moved back to Iowa to work things through with my partner of four years (I guess 5 now?) mid summer. It took me a while to settle into our new apartment, my old job, and new routine. Our place is finally looking semi put together… Although our mattress is still on the floor!

Work has been great too. I really missed my coworkers, environment, the animals, and the overall experience. I’ve really thrown myself into the daily madness of working at a veterinary clinic. Work has been a great distraction to help keep my thoughts from overwhelming me. Still happens sometimes though.

I found a psychiatrist, personal counselor, and couples counselor at the same office. They’ve all been great so far. I switched to Cymbalta to help settle my depression and anxiety, and just recently started Ambien to help me sleep through the night. I still wake up at times, mostly from discomfort or squirrel bladder syndrome, but I think my sleep is getting better. I hope it is.

I’ve lost almost 10 pounds. It’s taken me three months to drop the weight, but I’m really proud of myself. The first two months of being back I started going to the gym. I tried to go at least 3-4 times a week. I mostly take dance workout classes (some yoga too!), but recently my partner and I have been going to fancy dance classes. We take ballroom lessons Monday nights and swing dance lessons Tuesday. We still go to the gym the other days.

At least every two weeks I struggle to do anything when I get home from work. After interacting with people and holding animals for 10 hours, sometimes I’m so exhausted I face plant into my dinner. It’s those days that I’m actually physically tired. But some days, I’m emotionally tired too. And some days I’m both.

I’ve been really good about scheduling myself doctor appointments and keeping on top of my health.

I feel like I’m doing good. I’m still scared every now and then…Of a lot of things actually. But, I’ve been trying to focus on the current day instead of letting my mind drift to the past or future. Of course I can’t help it sometimes. My brain is wired to worry!
Sometimes I’m scared that I’m ignoring my feelings or shoving things away. Maybe I am doing that. I don’t know. But, for the most part it feels right? I tell myself to focus on one thing at a time and if a little extra something shuffles in, it’s okay. I can let a tiny bit in here or there. Just not all at once.

I’m planning on doing more artsy fartsy stuff again. I miss painting, writing, and doing craft projects. I’ve found it difficult to find time to work, exercise, eat, sleep, and take time to relax. All I know is that I really want to paint! And soon! My creative juices are flowing! Ew, gross.

Anyhoos, that’s all I can scrounge up from my brain right now. It’s been a long day and all I really want to do is cuddle my fur babies.

Talk to you soon!